Iliza on Kony 2012

Iliza shares her feeling about the Kony 2012 Campaign and her thoughts on Jason Russell’s naked meltdown.

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  1. Dave Hire on March 21, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    The Iliza B-Day Reprise…

    The weakly news this week had special guest, very lovely Jodi Miller. Jodi Miller is always nice to see on the show.

    CREIGHTON UNIVERSITY: is a 4 year Catholic Jesuit Institution in Omaha Nebraska. The logo of the angry Blue Jay, is in fact their mascot. It actually is a woodpecker in disguise. Apparently in Omaha Nebraska, woodpeckers have been getting massive headaches by slamming their heads into trees. By disguising themselves as angry Blue Jys, the other birds will now just leave them alone. There is a new product in the development stages now from Advil, Ibuprofen tablets for peckers with headaches.

    FLEECE STATEMENTS: “Stop! It’s the Fleece” “pretty Fleece with a cherry on top” “would you like some Fleece with that wine?” “I want a pay inFleece!” “no good Fleece goes unpunished” “the rock group Fleecewood Mac” “Fleece Limit 35 mph” “you can’t dance if you have two left Fleece” “I’ll Fleece you half way” “a Fleecing of the minds” “raking the Fleece” “thru rain, Fleece, and snow…” “a new Fleece on life”

    MARCH MADNESS: This is the one year anniversary of the Charlie Sheen melt down, and we were bombarded with “quotes of gold” such as, “I’m on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen” “Duh winning!” “I have a different constitution. I have a different brain; I have a different heart; I got tiger blood man” “I have one speed, I have one gear: GO!” “I was bangin 7 gram rocks” “I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists” “I have Adonis DNA” and “The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children” just to list a few.

    BRIAN GRAMO: It’s finally time, to say, something, about Brian… his voice sounds like Ray Romano of “Everybody Loves Raymond”… which is a good thing! What did you think I was going to say?

    And also… oh F-ck! Lucas is in the news headlines again this week! This news story just in…

    In a recent story of the Kony 2012 project, Jason Russell and TMZ teamed up to get Lucas. Jason approached Lucas, telling him that they needed a stunt man to run thru city streets naked to make a point in a film against Joseph Kony, who steals children away from their parents and then turns them into fighting soldiers, called the LRA (Lord’s Resistance Army). Toddlers with guns are not cool. Jason offered to pay Lucas a lot of money. Lucas agreed because he needs the work. Lucas like a fool, decided to do it. As he ran naked, TMZ was waiting around the corner to video tape him. Lucas did not get paid, and the police were called. Lucas quickly ran to a nearby manhole cover, but couldn’t lift it, so he had to keep running until he found one he could lift, then went in and hid until he thought it was safe to sneak back home stark naked in the middle of the day. When he got home, he got the mail and received 3 pre-unapproved credit cards. Then because Lucas isn’t very bright, he decided to go for a drive.

    In the picture of the dumbass driving the car into the ocean, it was Lucas. According to Lucas, he blamed the incident on a defective GPS. This was not the case at all. The picture was magnified, and Lucas, was actually jacking off while he was driving, both hands were off the wheel because he was playing with his pee pee trying to squeal one off and apparently was not watching were he was going. The police officers at the scene were not buying his excuse, because he could not explain away the “beating the meat” action in the picture, and to make it worse, Lucas was using hand gesticulation to try to talk his way out of being arrested. One of the officers said to Lucas, “man, what a f-cking loser, that’s not how you carpool young man.” The officer put the handcuffs on Lucas and slapped the back of his head as they placed him in the squad car. Lucas now resides at a maximum security correctional facility and is officially Skillet’s girl. Skillet is happier than Snooky at an open bar. Before we left, Skillet was constantly shouting, “IT”S BU FU TIME AGAIN LUCAS!!!” as Skillet chased Lucas around the cell.


    The bat that flew out of Hell, he saw Lucas and flew right back in again.

    Lucas can be likened to a retarded squirrel who buries beach nuts and acorns in peoples’ car engines instead of underground, or in trees like normal squirrels do. I’m just trying to imagine what that retarded squirrel looked like.

    CLOSE: iliza said she had an accident with a mascara brush. It wasn’t at all noticeable to me. Iliza’s eyes looked beautiful and fine, all eyes are always on iliza’s eyes!!! 🙂

    As is as always, keep up the great work and looking great 🙂

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